DavidHans

It’s a crisp fall Sunday morning, the brilliant sun is streaming through my living room windows. The same windows that provide a panoramic view of midtown Manhattan. Here I sit on my leather couch enjoying the aroma of a freshly brewed cup of coffee as I unwrap the New York Times newspaper. The thought suddenly hits me, “Why haven’t I done this before?” I have lived in this apartment for almost 8 years and I’m not sure I have ever taken the time to really enjoy a Sunday morning.

It does beg the question, “With over 400 Sundays during the past 8 years, how is it possible that I haven’t basked in the sunshine on a Sunday before?” Well, the answer is pretty clear when I think about it. Who has time? Ever since signing my life over to the investment banking gods, my time hasn’t been my own. Don’t get me wrong, there are a lot of benefits to this lifestyle, I have an awesome, fully renovated pre-war co-op although I don’t think I have ever actually prepared a meal in the kitchen or even had friends over for drinks. I do get to dine at some of the best restaurants in the city, but it usually involves entertaining clients or getting take-out from one of the restaurants near the office. While I don’t see my parents much, I know I have made them proud. As long as I keep this 6-figure job, I can continue to impress them when they visit. That’s really what matters, right?

How did this all happen exactly? I thought this job was supposed to put me on easy street. I really thought that this career path was going to give me status, abundant financial resources, and the ability to travel to exotic destinations. Instead, I travel on business about 150 days a year, work 14-16 hours a day, and maybe I make it to the gym 1-2 days a week during my lunch hour.  Oh, and did I mention, I haven’t spent a Christmas with my family in over 5 years? It’s kind of embarrassing to say all of this outloud. I’m a well-educated guy and people typically look to me to solve their problems whether they are business or personal. In fact, I get paid a lot of money to do this!   Where did I go wrong exactly? I’m sitting here alone, with no real friends, a family I seldom see and a body that I have mistreated with a routine of more all-nighters than I care to count, infrequent exercise, limited exposure to the outdoors other than an occasional late-night run through Central Park and a diet fraught with caffeine, processed food and diet soda. What’ really killing me is that this is the life that I have CHOSEN for myself!!

The gravity of my situation really hit hard that day. I realized that I needed to make some different choices soon before another 10 years passed me by.

The changes came fast and furious over the next two years. It’s funny how things began to shift once I made the decision to live my life differently. Mind you, I really didn’t have any role models on how to change up my life. What I did have was an intense desire to live a fuller and more connected existence. As I reflected on next steps, I was reminded of a recent business trip to San Francisco and how I felt healthier and more open to people as I walked the diverse neighborhoods and jogged along Fisherman’s Wharf out to the Golden Gate Bridge each morning. Before I knew it, I had arranged for a transfer to San Francisco and was beginning my transformational journey. Over the next several years, I fully immersed myself in the culture of the Bay Area which included an active, health-conscious and vibrant personal growth community. I began reading books on personal growth and attending lectures by well-known authors including Marianne Williamson. At the same time, I discovered a group of like-minded friends who were eager to hike and explore the beautiful landscape of Northern California. In the process, I achieved greater work-life balance and was able to reduce my work week to more manageable hours.

Even with all of the changes I had made since moving from NYC, I still felt somewhat dissatisfied with my life, as if something were missing. While on a camping trip to Big Sur, a friend of mine shared some personal discoveries that he had made through work with a personal advisor. Being the overachiever that I am, I immediately presumed that I could “fix” my life in a couple of sessions so I signed up upon my return home. After completing a month’s worth of sessions, I started to realize that I was my own worst enemy. The world truly was my oyster and the choices were mine to be made. Interestingly, it took me a while to uncover what mattered to me and what I wanted, not what my parents wanted for me. Each week, my advisor helped me to uncover and transform longstanding, limiting beliefs I held about myself, things like “I’m not good enough” and “I am only worthy of love if I am achieving.” As part of this process, I also discovered that I had a deep, intense passion for helping others to realize their potential and to live a fun and fulfilling life.

From that pivotal Sunday morning in New York, my journey culminated with me entering graduate school to pursue a doctorate in psychology. Following graduation, I made a commitment to myself to share my journey with others and to support and guide people in overcoming obstacles and limiting beliefs related to their business, health and relationships.

Life is truly what you make of it. At any point in time, you can choose to live your life differently. I am here as living proof that with awareness, commitment and a personal advisor, life can be everything you want it to be and more.

Some statistics say that a staggering 40% of employees don’t trust management—and without trust, employees feel a sense of uncertainty, insecurity, and worry that creates a barrier to effective performance.

With our current business reality and global economy revolving around relationships and partnerships, the ability to establish, cultivate, and restore trust with our colleagues, employees, vendors, and customers is an essential leadership capability. In addition, demands for talented workers are on the rise and competition to hire and retain the best is increasing. There’s a growing need to build trust in your organization and to find ways to engage your employees more fully so they might resist the temptation to “jump ship” to a company that offers a more rewarding and trusting work environment.