Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.
Melody Beattie
I had the good fortune to work with a client recently who was experiencing many of the typical effects of being on this planet for almost 8 decades. His energy levels had declined, his memory was hit or miss and his sense of joy was absent. I spent several days with this man assessing his functioning, monitoring his daily routine and exploring his views on life. During our time together, he made significant gains in mobility and in adopting and following a structured daily program of tasks and activities. He did not, however, experience much improvement in his outlook on life.
I found his absence of joy and gratitude very curious given the accomplishments he had made during our time together. While on one of our daily outings, I inquired about his current mindset and why he struggled to celebrate his recent accomplishments. “I don’t really see any reason to celebrate or to be grateful for my current condition,” he said. “I can’t do much of the things that I used to do and it’s frustrating,” he went on to report. I responded by acknowledging his feelings and then asked the following question, “How would you feel if you were no longer able to walk or even remember the names of your wife and kids?” He quickly responded, “That would be terrible! Thankfully, that’s not where I’m at now.” I then smiled at him and took the opportunity to introduce the concept of gratitude.
In explaining gratitude, I shared that gratitude isn’t an all or nothing, black or white concept. I also shared that gratitude doesn’t have to be focused on something large or grandiose. Being able to walk to the mailbox once again and to take his medications without his wife’s reminder were real accomplishments and cause for gratitude and celebration. My client looked at me with surprise and I could see his mental wheels turning. He really wanted to resist my observations because he expected than he currently had. I turned towards him and said, “I believe we often forget to be grateful for what we have until we no longer have it.” There was a long pause. Then, my client sighed deeply, seemingly releasing his expectations for what he “should” be able to do. “I am thankful for what I have and what I can do. I can see that life could be a whole lot worse. I’ve never really thought about it that way before.”
As we prepare for this Thanksgiving holiday, consider taking a minute to let go of the expectations for your future. Maybe let out a big sigh like my client did – whatever it takes to bring yourself back to the present moment. Life is not perfect. Life just IS. In recognizing this truth, maybe you too will appreciate all the blessings that have been bestowed upon you. Thanksgiving is truly a holiday about GRATITUDE.
Happy Thanksgiving!
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