How to Improve Your Self-Esteem

As a psychologist, I am always looking for statistics or data that can help me to understand a problem. When it comes to low self-esteem, the data is not easy to find nor is it easy to validate. Part of the problem may be that many people who are struggling with low self-esteem don’t turn to professionals for help. Instead, they allow their health, careers and relationships to suffer for years and years.

Before proposing some steps that you might take to boost your self-esteem, let’s consider the definition itself. Self-esteem is defined as “a feeling of having respect for yourself and your abilities” or “a person’s overall subjective emotional evaluation of his or her own worth.” Essentially, we can think of self-esteem as a judgment of oneself as well as an attitude toward the self. Keep in mind, that the definition itself focuses solely on PERCEPTION.

The psychologist, Abraham Maslow posited that psychological wellbeing is not even possible unless the essential essence of a person is accepted, respected and loved by oneself and others. He further stated that self-esteem allows people to face life with more confidence, optimism and goodwill towards others. Based on these comments, you are probably beginning to appreciate the importance of healthy self-esteem. At the same time, you may also be wondering, “How is it that our joy and fulfillment is seemingly based on PERCEPTIONS?” The short answer is that, while genetic factors can shape our overall personality, it is more often our life experiences that determine our self-esteem. People who experience critical or negative assessments from family, friends or loved ones, will most likely develop low self-esteem regardless of any genetic factors to the contrary.

As I frequently tell my clients, your past does not have to determine your future. You have a choice to make. Are you going to rely on the statements of others to determine your value or worth or are you going to make that determination for yourself? Now that you more fully understand what hangs in the balance here, let me share with you some practices that can help enhance your self-esteem and, ultimately, your overall wellbeing:

• Treat yourself with kindness and encouragement.
• Remember that your thoughts and behaviors aren’t positive or negative. They exist to be observed not judged and, they can be learned from.
• Celebrate your gifts and accomplishments – big or small.
• Practice gratitude in every moment.
• Treat yourself like the gift that you are.
• Do something each day for the pure joy of it (without judgment or evaluation).
• Practice selfless acts of kindness each day.
• Keep in mind that your language determines your destiny.
• Set clear and compelling goals for yourself and take massive action to achieve them.
• Exercise and good nutrition contribute to physical wellbeing which, in turn, influences how you feel and how you feel about yourself.

Try incorporating some or all of these practices into your daily routine for the next 30 days. I can assure you that, based on my own experiences, you will start feeling greater love for yourself and others.